I has a haircut. To celebrate this fact, I shall presently embark on a sPazAmp. I've dumped sPazTunes in favour of sPazAmp due to shuffling all my music over to the new HDD. However, as a result of this, there is only about a fifth or so of the music to choose from (20gb or so). Furthermore, as I tend to categorise along genre lines and have diligently been moving the files a folder at a time (and in order), the available selections are somewhat particular. In short, be prepared for a high probability of Nick Cave songs (seeing as he constitutes 1/20th of the available songs by size).
Christ that's a boring paragraph. I reckon as I'll start again.
I has a haircut. I'm doing a sPazAmp, there aren't a great variety of songs, deal with it, cementheads.
That's better.
1. 13th Floor Elevators - You're Gonna Miss Me
On a regular shuffle day, it would look like a fix having this first. However, given that one of the few folders I've moved in its entirety is 60s Garage and also given that this song appears in there about nine times, then it's less surprising. It's also still one of the finest songs in
2. The Mono Men - Burning Bush
Perverted pyro-rapists.
3. Lula Cortes e Ze Ramalho - Maracas de Fogo
I know I've missed off many and assorted accents, but I'm a little too tired to care. Besides, it's a song about maracas made of airborne water droplets, and that's just silly (in a good way).
4. The Bambi Molesters - The Wedge
The finest Croatian twangsome surfmerchants in the whole wide world. And don't let anyone tell you any different.
5. The Squirrels - Seasons in the Sun
Most of the first half is gloriously off key, then it speeds up and manages to morph into The Hustle. What's not to love?
6. The Mummies - Whitecaps
Parts I and II joined together in a glorious feast of BudgetRock(tm) perfection. Rusty Spoon Music ((c) JamieC) par excellence.
7. Driving Stupid - Horror Asparagus Stories
Toad! Toad! A big old Toad! Road! Road! Middle thereof! Fucking wonderful, and I don't say that lightly.
8. Mad Violets - I Can Hear the Grass Grow
I don't care how good your song is, or how horribly underrated your 80s take on all things psychey with a girl singing was, the fact is that no, you can't. You just can't. It's impossible. Nobody has ears that clever.
9. Knights of the New Crusade - He Has Risen
My God is alive! Sorry about yours! Still magnificent, and I won't shut up about it until you are all Saved.
10. The Mono Men - Took That Thing
The first song I ever heard by The Mono Men (bought on impulse thanks to being on Estrus and having a Coop-like cover), still one of the finest songs my ears have ever fondled and recorded from my very own blue marble vinyl 7''. Which I've since had to sell. Not every story has a happy ending, bitch.
11. The Reatards - You Fucked Up My Dreams
Yeah, well you can't spell. So we're even.
12. Bango - Inferno No Mundo
One of the best songs I don't understand the words to. And that's a pretty fucking big category, let me tell you. Which I just did. Cheers!
13. The Monsters - Gozilla
Their go-go-garagetastic paean to their favourite simian-tinged web-browser.
14. Naz Nomad & The Nightmares - (Do You Know) I Know
Alright! HUH! Get outta my way! The only proper song on the album that isn't a cover, and it sounds more twisted 60s garage than the actual covers. I like it! (that last bit is also a lyric, not just an oddly excited exclamation from me).
15. Earls of Suave - Stranger in my Hometown
If songs were all limited to five seconds in length, then this would possibly be my favourite song ever. Unfortunately, the other one hundred and forty four seconds of the song aren't anywhere near as good.
16. The Third Bardo - Five Years Ahead of My Time
You weren't even five minutes ahead of your time, you average gimps.
17. The Sonics - Psycho
If you can think of a better song, then you are an earless cementhead. Or just possibly not in the mood for gloriously spasticated drumming.
18. Los Peyotes - Fuego!
Without doubt, this is the most impeccably crafted cover of an Arthur Brown song by an Argentinian garage band. And I don't say that lightly.
19. Zacherle - Happy Hallowe'en
Dude, it's so totally not hallowe'en anymore. I don't care how ace your voice is. Sweet.
20. The Fuzztones - D.O.A.
I love the Bloodstone original, but I possibly love this even more. As basic premises for songs go, the musings of a dying aircrash victim lying on a slab next to the corpse of his splattered girlfriend shouldn't really rate that highly. And yet, and yet. It's bollock-nibblingly fantastic. Rarely has a song suited Rudi's occasionally overblown voice so well, and rarely has a hammondy type organ been employed to such precisely affecting effect. Or something. I have little idea what I'm blarbling on about, but I do know that this is one of my favourite songs to wholeheartedly sing along with when I'm certain that no one is in earshot (i.e. in the house or in a five mile radius). Like the Earls of Suave song, it has you hooked more certainly than your own bodyweight in crack after five seconds (try it [the song, not the crack] and you'll see what I mean). Unlike the Earls of Suave song, it gets better and better from then on, with the opening bars merely serving as a taster for the rampantly overegged and resplendently entertaining melodrama to come. Or it might just be a middle-aged bloke with a stupid name covering songs in a style that went out of fashion twenty years before the rest of his band could string two words together. It really doesn't matter, and I care just a little bit less than that. I love it, and so should you. If you know what's good for you.
Yeah. Bye.
Oh, yeah, not bye. Hang on.
It's The Mummies, obviously. And it's wonderful. And so is JamieC for making me aware of it (he secretly loves them. And other rusty spoon music too). And for inventing the term "Rusty Spoon" music. And for sending me a beret. And rum. But I digress. Everyone should watch it, and marvel at how music should be enacted.
Really bye this time.
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