I LIED AGAIN

I'm paraphrasing Arnie there. I don't think he ever said those precise words. Anyway, sorry for the lack of a February Superbean calendar. It will show up, it just might be a little late to get any February style calendar action out of it. Unless you like to colour them in retrospectively, or something. In which case, you are a DEMENTED FOOL. Still, as long as you stay inside the lines with your colouring, who am I to judge, drokk it? Ha ha, I'm so clever.

Well, no, I'm not. I've just spent far too long recently filling my spare time with re-reading of 2000ad comic strips, by stomm. Which is probably why I haven't been feeding the world much needed beanial date trackers.

Anyway, to kill a little bit of time I find trying to claw it's way out under the cover of darkness, I'm going to fill in with a couple more elderly sPazAmps. Hopefully, one day, I might catch up completely and get to do a new one.

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Hello. I'm about to do the sPazAmp shuffle, and to celebrate, here are three rotund Mexicoans in silly hats singing a lovely, lovely song in black and white.



El bloody splendido, I'm sure you'll agree. Anyway, enough of the good and on with the tat.


1. Theme tune to The Prisoner
If you've seen The Prisoner, then you'll know the tune. On account of it being the theme. It's even better with the credits, because then you get to see the 1960s vision of the future - the one where everything is still on paper and stored in old fashioned filing cabinets, but put there by flimsy looking robot arms. One piece at a time. Slowly. A terrifying dystopian vision of a human replaced by machinery world, oh yes. Or oh no, depends which way you look at it.

2. Karen Wheeler & The Gents - Wait 'til I'm Sixteen
One for Fred, this. Don't tell the bloke to wait, Karen, tell him to stop hanging round the playground or you'll tell the police.

3. Chingon - Malagueña Salerosa
Best song in the world. As endorsed by his chingonic goodness, Superbean. And me. And the three chubby Mexicoans at the top of the post. With Bobby Bobdriguez on guitar. Sod the sPazAmp, I'm off to buy some cowboy boots and a sombrero. Not really (although I might have a peep on eBay).

4. System of a Down - Everytime
From the Toxicity II bootleg of the Toxicity sessions. Most of them turned up on Steal This Album in slightly better form and with different titles. I think this one became Nügüns. Why am I telling you? You couldn't care less. Bloody cementheads.

5. Brian Auger - Fool Killer
Bit harsh, Brian. I mean, they irritate me too but I don't go round murdering them to death. And if I did I certainly wouldn't do it in a jazzy Georgie Fame style.

6. Ian Dury - Plaistow Patricia
Abridged anecdote. Lou Reed, tour, support, annoying tossbag Lou, last night, Lou patronises his support on stage, Ian dedicates the following song to Lou by way of thanks, and then launches into the quite marvellous intro. "Arseholes, bastards, fucking cunts and pricks..."

7. The Mummies - Whitecaps pt. I
Whitecaps...waves as tall as MEN. I miss the Mummies. I wish they'd come back. Or hadn't gone away.

8. The Tamrons - Wild Man
Slightly above average garage punker from the 60s. Which means it appears on more or less every single collection or series of collections. Which, subsequently, means I am a little tired of it.

9. Palace Music - Tonight's Decision (and Hereafter)
He has a beard, you know.

10. Bad Karma Beckons - Big Boy Blues
Plenty of bands have had two drummers, but how many have two singers (that always sing the exact same things at the same time)? "If you wanna get a shock put your finger in my socket". Perverts.

11. GLC - Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do
Or "wappers", as P. Xain would have us believe.

12. The Squirrels - Betsy
Betsy the exploding cabbage patch doll came to me on my birthday, betsy the exploding cabbage patch doll was a present from the IRA. Betsy wanna hold you, Betsy wanna hug you, like a little teddy bear. One of my favourite birthday dollies went and put me in intensive care. Quite. It's the version from the Nardwuar compilation, so it's the rockin' garage reworking with the bits nicked from that "classic" rock/hair/metal song. I can't remember which. I bet Ian would know.

13. Tim Hardin - It'll Never Happen Again
Bet it will.

14. Screaming Trees - Look at You
I don't think it would be right for me sully such a glorious song with my inane babbling. So I won't.

15. Ghostface Killah - Marvel
Sup, Scary Rap Dude. With a hint of the RZA Scary Rap Dude, too. Bargain!

16. Nirvana - Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle
Possibly my favourite off the album. Perhaps because it sounds like it should be on Bleach instead.

17. April March - Theme from Lime Cafe
Pleasant.

18. Sexton Ming & Billy Childish - Oma-Laka-Wee
Don't you know that I am boss - OMA LAKA WEE.

19. Fabienne Delsol - I'll Wait For You
Cheers love. I should be out in six to eight with good behaviour.

20. Chaka Demus & Pliers - Twist & Shout
I can think of few better ways to end a shuffle. I'm off to listen to this, "Tease Me" and Bitty McLean's "It's Raining" over and over until I collapse from exhaustion.

See you!