MY DOK!!

It's a themed sPazAmp from the vaults! Head for the hills!

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Now, as Boris are official this week's Best Band in the World (a title they've held on many an other week, but I hadn't just been to see them those weeks) I felt it was only right to have a shuffle just of Boris. But then I realised you don't deserve a full twenty slices of Borissy goodness. Your soft, underdeveloped musical palates would wilt under the onslaught. I'd better temper it slightly and do a shuffle of everything on sPazAmp tagged "Sludge". Then I realised you'd only be reading my witterings on the subjects, not hearing the songs themselves, but it was too late by then. I'd got my mind set on it, as George Harrison nearly sang (to a tune he'd nicked. Like all his tunes, the thieving git).

So sit back, relax, and allow the sludge to wash over you. As if you were living in a low-lying part of Yorkshire this past week.


1. Thorr's Hammer - Norge
I've got my Thorr's Hammer t-shirt on! It's like sPazAmp can see me. How weird would that be? I wonder what it thinks, when it stares at me so? It's probably in awe, in awe of my musical taste and the wonderful songs it gets to play for me. Yes, that's probably it. It's 7m37s long, if you're keeping a log (this will probably be the longest shuffle in the History of Shuffles. I'm the official historian, you know).

2. Electric Wizard - The Chrononaut (demo)
The wizaaaard! It wouldn't be such a useful thing I don't think, to be an Electric Wizard. You'd have to be plugged in all the time, or have an enormous battery pack. Regular wizards don't have that hassle. I hope the probably increase in power is worth the mobility trade off. Whole things seems like a load of unnecessary effort. Tch, progress. 10m20s.

3. Boris with Keiji Haino - from the distance, with their own gentle eyes always fixed on us, they are affectionately gazing at the Black, Implication Flooding
The title is longer than the song! Not really, the song is 6m36s. Not even Stephen Hawking would take that long to read it out.

4. Boris -1970
If they'd had music this good in 1970, they wouldn't have to make it now. Rocks like a demented bull ripped to the tits on rocking pills. Whatever they are. 4m58s

5. Monster Magnet - Ego, the Living Planet
I've been there. It's massive, and it rocks. I once had a go on Dave Wyndorf's guitar, you know. That isn't a euphemsim for having a go on his winky. 5m7s

6. Earth - Plague of Angels
That'd be a right pain, that would. What if they moulted? They'd have massive feathers. Plus, they'd be forever mooching around, pontificating about religion and such. Plus it'd be really hard to disagree with them, as them being there would sort of prove their own point, even before they made it. Sodding angels. Good series though (not a patch on Buffy, mind). 14m47s. Kurt Cobain was reasonably good friends with Dylan Carlson of the Earth fame, y'know. He even pops up on a live album.

7. Goatsnake - The River
Grinds like a motherblubber, does this. Like Melvins with a huge injection of THE RIFF. Sadly not a cover of the Springsteen song. 8m14s. Nearly an hour in!

8. Electric Wizard - Funeralopolis
The wizaaard! Again! This was the best song in the world a couple of days ago. Because my reckoning of these things is the world's official barometer. Oh yes. Big, loping, grindsome basstro? Check. Grinding fuzztastic guitar onslaught at the same loping pace? Check. Indecipherable lyrics (always a bonus in these cases)? Check. Big medal for being best song in the world pinned to it's satanic lapel? Check. Check check check. Check. 8m43s? Check. Checkity check.

9. Boris - Ano Onna No Onryou
Fucking wonderful, you motherblubber. Shame they didn't play it last night. I like to think that they save it for an encore, and given that that they had to leave the stage via the crowd, the encore was a bit unlikely. Didn't stop people shouting at the empty stage, though. Fools. 9m32s.

10. sunn o))) - A Shaving of the Horn that Speared you
Ooh, matron. Mr. Boris had a sunn o))) t-shirt on. He looked spiffing. This should be Andy's favourite sunn o))) song. 17m50s. Back later.

11. sunn o))) & Boris - Akuma no Kuma
The pinnacle of man's musical achievements (that isn't done by Boris on their own). 7m52s of orgasmic ecstacy in music form.

12. Orthodox - Arrodillate ante La Madera y La Piedra
They're Spanish, y'know. What relevance this has to the fact that they grind and drone like specially grown steroid enhanced grind and drone beasts, I don't know. But I thought I'd tell you anyway. They're grand. 11m36s.

13. Monster Magnet - Snake Dance
It's the original version off the mini LP, not the superior re-recording album version and blahblahblah (I nicked that off Michael the Stripe off of noted chart popsters REM). Still like, totally awesome, dude. A mere 3m21s.

14. sunn o))) - Rabbit's Revenge
I've just noticed that I don't have Melvins tagged as sludge. I was wondering why they hadn't popped up yet. Oh well, too late to change it now, I suppose. 14m01s.

15. Earth - Tibetan Quaaludes
15% more effective than Nepalese Quaaludes, factdudes. 7m43s.

16. Deer Creek - The Gateway was Broken
Hope it's fixed now. Very little idea who these are, except they had a split with Church of Misery. Pleasant enough, and a brief 4m23s.

17. Church of Misery - Cities on Flame with Rock and Roll
In my capacity as Lord of Rock, I command you all to like this. NOW, motherblubbing cementheads. 4m0s.

18. Goatsnake - Flower of Disease
Probably about syphilis. If so, it's the best song about syphilis ever! 6m39s, time fanatics.

19. Boris - Pink
If there was any justice in the sPazAmping world, this would be #20. The little yelp at the start was the drummer, in case you were wondering. It's 4m20s and fucking wonderfuckingful, motherblubbers.

20. Thrones - Reddleman
I've just had to read Return of the Native again, too. The bastards. Thanks for reminding me (although at least he does get lots of money and a happy married life at the end. It's not a spoiler, I'm saving you from 400 odd pages of turgid misery. Go team Diggory!) 2m54s


So, yeah. One shuffle, best part of three hours and Boris are still really good, motherblubbers.