Hurry up, pie and chips!

I'm hungry! Stupid time, standing between me and my dinner. Oh well, just time for another shuffle, then.

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I must admit, shufflefandudes, that I'm a little loath to step back in here. But hey, I'm bored and a bit sick of youtubing weirdoes, so here goes.

Well, in a bit. It turns out that I'm not entirely sick of youtubing and besides, the Snork claims not to have seen Morecambe and Wise. And then no doubt there will be an insistence on some wrestling clips or something. It's bound to happen. Bear with me. Perhaps a joke to fill the interlude.

How do you stop a dog shagging your leg? Pick it up, and suck its cock.

I thank you. Thanks, Sean Lock.

Now, on with the shuffling.


1. The Mummies - Tall Cool One
Simultaneously an auspicious and an unauspicious start. Auspicious (I'm already sick of typing that) because it's a fucking belting song (I think it's one of their Wailers' covers, but I might be wrong), unauspicious because The Mummies always appear, and it makes it look like my musical taste hasn't moved on at all since the last time. It hasn't, but I don't need some retarded music software broadcasting it to the motherblubbing world. Hmph.

2. The Littlest Hobo Theme
Maybe tomorrow, I'll wanna settle down, until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on. Excellent theme tune, dudes, but settle down? You're a fucking dog. A dog. What're you going to do, get a job as a data analyst, get married and raise half alsatian half human hybrid children? Fuck off you massive mental.

3. Pearl Jam - Gremmie Out of Control
It's something to do with surfing. I do like me a slice of the 'jam (I would suspect that you shouldn't actually be able to slice jam), but they don't really cover themselves in glory here. Although, that said, I do love it to bits. Me? I'm a mass of contradictions. Although some might say it was more a case of being wilfully confusing. This section was sponsored by the word although. Thankyou. Bye.

4. Nick Cave & the Bad Sheeps - Deanna
Just about my favouritest 'Sheeps song. Unfortunately, this is a live version recorded in an empty coke can. And is therefore tinnily shit. I massively heart the song, though.

5. The Adventures of Parsley - Magpie
It's theme tune night in the shoelace household. Well, theme tunes and youtubes of Billy Ocean being magnificent and Tom Jones being hnngworthy. Ah, Magpie. Presented by every young boy's dream Jenny whatserface and Mick "Keegan" Robertson. Sort of like an cheap ITV attempt to be Blue peter, only with a rocktastic theme tune. A theme tune that Parsley, erstwhile ivory-tinkler for the Solarflares does more than a massive amount of justice. Splendid.

6. Jello Biafra & the Melvins - The Lighter Side of Global Terrorism
Given the two musical behemoths involved, do you really need me telling you at length how fucking awesome it some, cementheads?

7. Los Gatos Salvajes - La Respuesta
It's all in forens. Doesn't stop it being groovetastically awesome, mind.

8. Inspiral Carpets - She Comes in the Fall
I love the Inspirals. I don't mind admitting it. A fine song. Lyrics not their strong point, though. You should learn to walk before you crawl, she comes in the fall? Fucking retards.

9. Guana Batz - Electraglide in Blue
Fuck yeah. If I weren't going to go on and plug my blog, that would suffice. A prime slice of asskicking psychobilly, by the tuneful masters of the art. But I am going to plug the blog, and it is precisely the sort of thing that can be found over at Mutant Rock

10. Gas Huffer - Release the Robots
This is also the kind of thing you'd find over there. Tom Price has Parkinsons. The world is unfair in so many fucking unfair bastard ways. That's just one of them. Best bit is the robotic, Spectrum 48 curragh uspeech (the micro thing, no the u, I couldn't be arsed finding the alt+numbers for it) right at the end. The world is a shit, horrible place.

11. Randall and Hopkirk (deceased) Theme Tune
It really is bastard theme tune night. Plus I appear to have tourette's, sorry. Not the best them, a bit plinky piano heavy. And the Vic and Bob remake was shit, which is a shame. Although Emilia Fox was in it. But that's not enough to save it, I'm afraid.

12. Deep Purple - Fireball
Winamp tells me it's 22 minutes long. If fucking only. Stupid software. Top shrieking, Ian. I was about to launch into something about Lee and Herring's Ian news (very "ian-teresting"), but it's getting late and I can't arsed. Soz.

13. Steve and the Jerks - Girl You Made a Jerk out of Me
And why are you so bothered? It's your band name! Top garaging, though.

14. The Deadly Snakes - I Heard a Voice
I heard one too. I recall distinctly, it said "NEXT". I heart The Deadly Snakes as much as the next man (providing the next man is a massive fan of The Deadly Snakes), but this is a bit poor. Soz.

15. Minous Blancs - Oh Non Jamais
It's all in the forens! But regardless, it's fantasticly bopsome. Hell yeah.

16. Belle and Sebastian - Me and the Major
I've left this in for three reasons. One, I don't cheat (much. I mean, obviously I elide multiple instances of the same band), two, it's not a terrible song and, three - mainly this one - they mention Roxy Music. TBH be honest, at the time I first heard, that was probably what sold it to me. I heart Roxy Music massively. But then, being tiny shoelace fans, you probably already know that. *blush*

17. Outkast - The Rooster
The best song on the Speakerboxx/Love Below split thing, and it wasn't on Andre's lameass effort. Oh fucking no. See, They can both rap, but only Big Boi has a fucking clue with regards to the beat. Sorry again for the tourette's. But really, this widdles all over anything on the other side. Except maybe "Hey Ya", but then that's just a pop thing. Not that being a pop thing is a bad thing, but being a big rap beast takes a certain something. The Rooster has it, in fucking spades (sorry again), and Hey Ya don't.

18. Ricky Martin - Loaded
Faster than a Sosa home run. Bet that's faster than any of you - you're probably still deluding your minds with weird thoughts of him being shit. Well I got news for you, fools. Unless you have a personal reason not to do the jiggy mamma to the break of dawn, then you have no excuse AT ALL. Cementheads. (I must admit, I cheated and listened to a bit of "La Bomba" live afterwards, and had a massive latino chairdance. I am SO fucking sexy it's untrue. I did a bit of Pegate but had to stop on account of people throwing themselves at me).

19. Anthony and the Johnsons - Divine
Yeah, way to ruin the mood, JamieC. Okay, so I like your song massively. But not after I've had a frankly enormous chairdance to Rickyness. Stop it. You're making me glum. Plus, I'd quite like it if you stopped squeezing my organs.

20. The Dubliners - The Irish Rover
I should have been typing about Julie Driscoll's "Let the Sunshine (the Flesh Failures)" - a fine song of which I know all the the words. However, we drunkenly danced the song away in the confines of the room and were thus left with this (the Les Dawson youtubes notwithstanding). Are we bothered? Arse no! It may not be prime time Dubliners, but hell, it's still arse-shiftingly wonderful, despite the involvement of Shane MacGowan.


There would actually be a 21, seeing as how much the room enjoyed the randomising of Green Day. But I've been told not to mention that, so that would be BYE.

BYE.

Bye.