This, that, but not the other.

I bet you thought I was dead. Yes, you - the mythical reader of this nonsensical voyage through nonsense. Well, I in't. So relax, you're not being typed at by a zomboid. I live, just about, much to the chagrin of many.

Also, I'm back. Here and on the musicky version of my witterings. I'm going to set myself a plan, a plan to inflict myself on the interwebworld on a far more regular basis, with a mutantbrain spurt on a thursday and a mutantrock musing on a tuesday. Knowing me, this plan will last less than a week (that only leaves me a Monday to abandon myself to the pointlessness of Spore and Wednesday to pursue a PhD. It keeps running away, the little sod).

So yeah. Suck on that, bitches. It'll be great, you'll love it. My return is the reason they had to shut down the Large Hardon Collider temporarily. Electrical fault my arse (that's not an instruction), they're just diverting all their science brain energies to deciphering this blog, the only proof they'll ever need of the existence of the Higgs Moron particle.

To celebrate, here are some Youtubes. I've chosen these from whatever Firefox suggests to me from previous browsals when I start typing youtu into the address bar. Proper random.



Shit. This was suggested as "funny" somewhere on the interwebulars. It's not. Not even the cat, the Baldwin or the Vader. Shit, with a capital wank. Which sounds like something an appreciative toff might say to a prostitute.




She's a generalist. Not a specialist, a generalist. She's also an ugly, talent vacuum with the face a horse's mother wouldn't love and a skank factor to rival Amy Whorehouse's arsecrack. Holistic vocal coach is apparently special code for deranged bint with the personal appeal of a rampaging (higgs) Bison intent on goring you with the new horns it glued on especially for the job. I love the X-factor. Until it stops showing the mouth-breathing musical bacteria and starts pretending the people are talented. Then I hate it. This is why I prefer Britain's Got Talent, they don't bother with the second bit. They let slightly "special" girls with performing dogs into the final (best bit was when he parents explained how she doesn't have many "human friends"). I like to pretend that they intend the title in an ironic fashion.

I've run out of youtubes, so in lieu of another, here's a premium comment from the youtube posting of the last one. I adore youtube comments, they seem to be inhabited by people who, by rights, should be mentally incapable of operating a computer. Or breathing unaided.

i must admit shes a bit of an ego maniac and her big desplay at the beginin did discredit her quite a lot, however she is very talented and should be credited for heer vocal ability and the fact she has taught the vocalist of one of the best bands in wales how to sing just because she uses sum techniques that arent widely loved doesnt mean she should be discredited for it and catagorised with all the shit singers because of it

Thanks, serpentofmendes! Can spell technique, can't spell her, display, or some. I bet you only feel truly alive when paintballing. I bet you also think that Neighbours is a reality show and that Digimon is a documentary. Bless.

In the words of Gary Glitter, I'm off to trawl the far east for children to mither it's good to be back. Hello, hello, it's good to be back.