1. Jethro Tull - Round
Further evidence that iTunes would be a poor choice of lawyer to represent you. It could get you hanged with its criminal misrepresentations. I mean, I like Jethro Tull and all, but really, you'd think they consituted about 75% of my bloody collection or something. Honestly. It's probably nearer 60%.
2. The Len Bright Combo - (Swimming Against) The Tide of Reason
And now it is making a fool of my claims of openness and the like, making me look like I'm fixing it so I only list the instances when it plays what is quite clearly one of the best songs in the world EVER. Ever. Ev..no, I did the Outkast joke last time. Oh, and in case anyone missed the other nine gillion times I mentioned it, this is the song Belle & Sebastian shamelessly ripped off in order to construct Lazyline Painter Jane. And it is absolutely wonderful.
3. Chris Isaak - Wicked Game
This is more like it. Um, in the random choosingness with no shame stakes, that is. Look, I can't help what I like. I can't. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT. One day, you'll all realise you were wrong. And, just for the record, yes, I like 'Blue Hotel' as well, so there.
4. The Black Keys - Just Couldn't Tie Me Down
Bit dull, really. It's off Rubber Factory, which isn't as good as Thickfreakness. And I only own this because I owned Thickfreakness and really quite liked it. Ho hum. But Thickfreakness is quite good. Well, for a while, at any rate. I lose interest after about five songs. I'm not really selling them very well, am I.
5. Roxy Music - Could It Happen To Me
Depends on what you mean by 'it'
6. Pink Floyd - The
Oh for heavens' sake. First Pink Floyd song it has chosen (as I recall), and it has to be one of the, um, less entertaining. It's alright in the context of the album as a whole, but not really on its own.
7. Mudhoney - You Got It (Keep it Outta My Face)
Cheers, and no problem - I'd be a bit weird if I went round waving it in people's faces, to be quite frank.
8. Puressence - Planet Helpless
Title track, but not my favourite (neither is the album). Charming enough, though.
9. The Electric Prunes - Bangles
Sadly not a musical biopic of, well, The Bangles. Utterly forgettable, but not the worst on the album, not by a long way. This is the album with The Toonerville Trolley on it, for fuck's sake.
10. Tom Jones - Ain't That a Lot of Love
It's all relative, Tom. Although you do seem to be comparing with Mick Fucking Hucknall. It's shit. Utter shit. Wank. Bloody awful. I might be a Tom Jones fan, but I'm neither deaf nor stupid.
11. Negativland - U2 (1991 Acapella Mix)
Entertaining, really quite grand, just a bit too long, really. A nice palate cleanser though, displacing the sour taste left by Mick Hucknall. Misinterpret that if you wish, but it is only your own sanity at risk.
12. Spencer Davis Group - I'm a
So am I! Let's form a society! On the other hand, fuck off - this might be a decent song, but you also churned out loads of shit and spawned the solo career of Steve Winwood. And that was unforgivable.
13. The Milkshakes - Did I Tell You
I think you mentioned it once or twice, yes.
14. Kyra - Do Things Right
Further proof that the pre-eminence of Holly Golightly compared to her former bandmates is utterly puzzling.
15. The Mighty Caesars - The Wiseblood
Yes, it's good. It's wonderful. I'm sick of telling you, you never listen. Bunch of bloody tone deaf ignoramuseseseseses, ignorami. Heathens one and all.
16. The Wildebeests - Couldn't Say You Were Wrong
That is one hell of a specific speech defect.
17. Sam Cooke - That's Where It's At
Where? Where Sam? BE MORE SPECIFIC. Bloody popstars. You're as bad as bloody Ferry.
18. Kid Koala - Flu Season
It's very short and has sneezes on it.
19. Flossie & The Unicorns - Free Guitar Lessons for Animals
I still haven't forgiven you for this, Stoof. If I ever feel a twinge of guilt over infecting your brain with Rabbit by Chas'n'Dave, I listen to this (well, preferably I'd only remember listening to this, then shudder) and feel absolved.
20. The Artistics - I'm Gonna Miss You
Aw, I'll miss you too. Don't forget to write!
That was less fun than before. Law of diminishing returns and all that. Or I might just be grumpy because it made me listen to Flossie & The Unicorns.
Again? You fucking bet. Not the one with Matthew Fucking Kelly, though.
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