Well, the boredom levels have reached the level sufficient for me to waste as many as twenty amusing comments about random songs by typing them into here for no one to read whilst I listen to the songs themselves.
As you can see, I have given up punctuation for lent. Is it lent? I had no idea quite how far my catholicism had lapsed. I don't even know when lent is. Well, it's around here somewhere, I guess.
1. The Small Faces - Here Come The Nice
That's nice. Ha, I am so funny. And clever. See, because the title has the word "nice" in it, and then I said the song was nice, and THAT'S THE SAME WORD. HA. I did warn you about the boredom levels. It is nice, though, no more and no less. Which is a polite way of saying "pretty average" really.
2. The Anti-Nowhere League - I Hate People
AND THEY HATE ME. Apparently it's a remix. I don't remember them doing remixes, to be honest. It's not the Fatboy Slim kind of remix, I think they just made it a teensy bit louder or something, or included a little more of Animal growling perhaps. Really rather ace, although it would have been better had it been Snowman or Woman. Or So What. Or Streets of
3. Thee $ta$h - Should I Suck or Should I Blow
Indeed. Fuck off, The Clash, your version was shit. HA. That told them. I can be so cleverly cutting, sometimes. It's Billy Childish and some of his mates covering Clash songs, having a bit of a dig at the Clash for being corporate lapwhores or something, and generally have a whale of a no-fi time whilst they do it. Other songs in the series include "We're Selling Jeans for the
4. The Wipers - Let Me Know
It's alright, I suppose. Certainly no Return of the Rat or D-7. But then it's off Land of the Lost and not Is This Real? which probably explains something, although I'm not sure what. I don't think they specify what it is they want me to tell me, which is a bit shoddy of them, if you ask me. To be honest, it's a bit shoddy of them even if you don't ask me, which you're unlikely to, to be fair. It sort of sounds like The Ramones, but with a determinable tune and vague musical ability.
5. The Milkshakes - The Klansman Cometh
I'm sure it chose this one last time, so you can go and look what I wrote about it there instead. Probably something about it being poorly titled, an instrumental, and not all that good, really.
6. The Ultramagnetic MCs - Watch Me Now
I think they're about to do a wheelie on their grifter, or something. I suppose I better do as they ask, wouldn't want to miss something like a wheelie on a grifter (sodding difficult to do, considering as the grifter has been scientifically proven to be the World's Heaviest and Widest Bike Ever. It's true, ask Norris McWhirter. You could cycle down the middle of the road and scratch cars on BOTH sides with the handlebars). Top class hip hop from a top class bunch at the height of their top class powers. Top class. Kool Keith wasn't the best hip hop name ever, though (although not the worst, I reckon that honour goes to Rodney O).
7. Action Swingers -
Untitled last track of their eponymous debut. A noisy, chaotic, wonderful two minutes. Fun, of sorts.
8. The Prisoners - Nobody Wants Your Love
They don't, you know, so stop trying to give it to people unannounced. That sort of behaviour can lead to court orders and the like. So I've been told, that is. If I have to tell you again how The Prisoners were one of the greatest bands ever to bestride kent the world like a tune-filled hammond-powered musical colossus, then you are clearly DEAF. And possibly BLIND too, as I am typing this and not saying it with my mouth. DRINK YOUR WEAK LEMON DRINK NOW.
9. Colloseum - Theme Three: The Grass is Always Greener
I like Colloseum because they had Chris Farlowe singing for them. However, this is an instrumental from Valentyne Suite, so it loses several hundred marks. An unthreatening middle-of-the-road heavy-prog-esque effort. Nothing to write home about (should you be away from home and feel the need to inform your abode what you are listening to in postal fashion. Which is a bit odd, as houses have neither eyes nor language comprehension skills. Oddballs).
10. GLC - Makin' Money
It has swearing in it and was recorded in a toilet with particularly poor acoustics. Not their best, although it does rhyme "ginsters" with "sphincters", so it isn't entirely without merit.
11. HMHB - Reflections in a Flat
Ooh, my favourite off the first album. Well done iTunes. My story seems so tragic/Ali Bongo's good at contortionism.
12. Mudhoney - Six Two One
Ah, the sweet, riotous sound of glorious escape from major label hell. Off my second favourite Mudhoney record "Five Dollar Bob's Mock Cooter Stew" (for those of wishing to update your charts).
13. The Bostweeds - Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill!
Aceness beyond words. So I shan't try.
14. Helios Creed - "Nugg" The Transport
I have no idea whether nugg is the name of transport, or a verb that The Creed (as no one calls them) are exhorting us to perform to "the transport". And given that I've been listening to this song for many years now (not continuously obviously, that would be daft), then I guess you'd have even less idea. I think we should just give it a nugging, just in case. It's splendid space rock stuff, if you're wondering.
15. Chuck Berry - Run, Run, Rudolph
And it isn't even Christmas! Madness!
16. The Fall - I am Damo Suzuki
It's-uh really quite good-uh. But I guess you already knew that-uh.
17. Mark Lanegan - Hit the City
About time he made an appearance. It's Lanegan, therefore it is fucking superb, as you well know.
18. Elvis Presley -
It defies description, to be honest. I could try, but what would be the point? Oh, it's shit, too.
19. Van Der Graaf Generator - Aquarian
As much as I like this (and I really, really like it, the entire album is an aural splendour with few equals), it snuck into my head at an early stage that he is actually singing about aquariums instead. I am yet to decide if this improves the song or not. "We're all aquariums". Perhaps it doesn't.
20. Freelance Hairdresser - Bring the Beanbag (PE Vs Herb Alpert)
Sublime, utterly sublime. What better way to finish than with Chuck D having fun along with the It's a Knockout theme tune? Essential listening, provided you have slightly malfunctioning ears, like me.
Don't worry, the fun will continue another time. Whether you like it or not.
No comments:
Post a Comment