Don't Say I Didn't Warn You...

... because I did.

1. HMHB - Floreat Inertia
Not exactly my favourite HMHB track taken from not exactly my favourite HMHB album (This Leaden Pall). Not the most auspicious of starts. Ho hum.

2. Billy Childish - Girl on the Beach
Bloody iTunes. I never listen to the spoken word stuff, and it should bloody well know this. It's a sodding conspiracy.

3. Betty Adams - Make it Real (Ride On)
Ah, this is more like it. Even if iTunes did insist on choosing the version off of the David Holmes album "Come Get It I Got It" which has made me want to abandon the random element and listen to the whole mix.

4. The Mummies - Come On Up
Splendid. Raucous, splendid and splendidly raucous. The more I look at the word "raucous", the weirder it looks.

5. The Bristols - So Fine
If only it was. Still, I don't think they'd get far if they were too honest and called it "so average and more than a little underwhelming".

6. Jello Biafra with Mojo Nixon & The Toadliquors - Burgers of Wrath
Not as good as "Let's Go Burn Ole Nashville Down", "Are You Drinkin' With Me Jesus", "Hamlet Chicken Plant Disaster" or "Love Me I'm a Liberal", but pleasant all the same. In fact, all the evidence points to it being about the fifth most pleasant track on the album. Faint praise and all that.

7. Thee Headcoats - Slide
An instrumental, with some splendid Bruce Brand trap rattling. What an odd phrase "trap rattling" is. Sounds like someone having a particularly violent shit. I'm not going to say it ever again.

8. Leatherface - Colorado Joe Leningrad Vlad
It's the live version. I love Leatherface, but I don't want to listen to the live version. I want the studio version. Stupid sPazzTunes.

9. Prodigy - Been Up Long (falsedawn)
From the Prodigyremixed effort, "Always Outsiders Never Outdone". Whilst it is a distinct improvement on the official effort, it's still not knocking my socks off. More sort of gently tugging at them. Which is a bit disturbing, as I still have shoes on.

10. The Fire Dept. - You're Too Much
Seems to like The Fire Dept., does my iTunes. Which is entirely fine by me, as they were smart.

11. MC5- Sister Anne
Never be tempted to a MC5 completist. Your ears will not thank you, believe me.

12. The Sonics - On The Road Again
However, being a Sonics completist is both easy and fun.

13. HMHB - Yipps (My Baby Got The)
This is much more like it. A favoured HMHB track from a contender for my favourite HMHB album (McIntyre, Treadmore & Davitt). "So I ran to the Bear, but he didn't care. I guess he's not a care bear".

14. Ghostface Killah - Black Jesus (feat. Raekwon & U-God)
You couldn't make up segueways like that, no one would believe you. A fine effort from the finest Ghostface album (I don't care what anyone else says, Ironman is the best one).

15. Nirvana - Beeswax
Ooh, I've not listened to this in ages. Oh, that's why, he sounds like he is gargling with Domestos. Not my Nirvana 'rarity' of choice.

16. Squeeze - King George Street
For the LAST time, iTunes, I DO NOT listen to anything of the Squeeze album after "Labelled With Love".

17. Kid Koala - Annie's Parlor
It's Kid Koala. I'm sure you not what to expect. I prefer Robochacha and Skanky Panky, but it's good all the same. Nice trombone. Hmm, that sounds like I'm trying to pacify an angered element of the brass section. There there, nice trombone, good trombone.

18. Jennifer Gentle - Universal Daughter
Whereas the last Jennifer Gentle effort iTunes chose in this kind of exercise sounded like it was sung by a hybrid of Vic Reeves in club singer mode and Ernie off of Sesame Street's Bert & Ernie, this one always sounds remarkably like it's being sung by Joe Pasquale. Don't let that put you off though, it's still rather splendid.

19. JCS - Herod's Song
The Mike D'Abo effort off the original recording, rare instance of one being surpassed by the version on the film soundtrack (thingy Mostel puts far more spite into the second half, which is how it bloody well should be. Why? BECAUSE I SAY SO). Although I do like the camply indignant way he closes with "get OUT of my LIFE".

20. Ian Dury & The Blockheads - Billericay Dickie
A fine choice to end on. In the space of one verse he rhymes nina, cortina, hyena, obscener, cleaners, misdemeanours and ribena. Which is good enough for me.

I can do this until the cows come home. So if your cows have gone somewhere, just await their return and you'll be fine.