The birth of the sPazAmp...

...except it wasn't called the sPazAmp back then, it was called the sPazTune. Stick with me, all will become clear.

This curious little offshoot of Mutant Rock is the place where I've decided that said sPazLings, inconsequential reviews of whatever random and possibly bizarre film I've just watched, and any other general wittering plops out of my brain, down my fingers and onto the keyboard should dwell. Help to keep Mutant Rock thoroughly impure, the way whichever god responsible intended it to be.

So, yes. The sPazAmp, formerly the sPazTune. It's simple, really. One cobbles one's entire debauched musical collection together on one's music player of choice, puts it all on lurid view, presses the random button and subjects oneself to the first twenty songs with neither fear nor favour.

Hardly groundbreaking, and distinctly uninventive. People have been randomising their musical collections since the dawn of time. Or at least, since the dawn of the ability to do so. And I was hardly the first to thwack upon the idea of listing them. Or even annotating said list. But I did coin the term sPazAmp (and before that, sPazTune), so there you go. There are many talented sPazAmpers out there (you know who you are. Andy, Chris, Andy, Mark, Dan, Joe, Hayley take a bow), but I'm the only one with sufficient dedication and possible retardation to want to go and make a blog out of it, so I'm taking the credit. Yes, all of it. The entire pot of credit is now mine, losers. And I'm totally not sharing.

I shall endeavour to intersperse the sPazAmps with the occasional review of whichever film I happen to have watched. A bit of variety, y'know, it does the soul good to be dipped in a different flavour of shit from time to time. They are by no means guaranteed to be recent, good or famous. I haven't been to the cinema since that dreadful experience with "The Village". It was touch and go whether or not I left after about ten minutes - the time it took to have the entire plot including "twist" unhappily mapped out in my head with uncanny accuracy - but I stayed to the grim, bitter end. At least it hadn't been my choice, and history is unclear as to whether it was a contributing factor to that person permanently losing their position of being someone who could choose my watching material. So I might have something to thank M. Night Shyamalan for. After I had finished punching him square in the face for thinking that his films have clever "twists". The Village? Twist? TWISTS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE VISIBLE FROM FUCKING SPACE. But I digress. This may happen a lot. HOW WAS THE SIXTH SENSE IN ANY WAY POSSESSED OF A TWIST? BALDY BRUCE IS SHOT IN PRACTICALLY THE OPENING SHOT. See? It's happened again. SIGNS? FUCK OFF. Sorry.

Anyway, that's about the girth of it. sPazAmp Club has a few basic rules, which instantly makes it better than Fight Club, which has just the one.

1: 20 Songs (or 10 if you're pushed for time. Or working with sunn o))) length songs)
2: No skipping. If you have Rick Astley in your compilation, it's your fault. Let him out, let him run free.
3: Comment, comment, comment. A list of random songs is just a list of songs. What's the point in that? Hmmm? If I had a strange urge to do that, I could satisfy it by reading the back of the nearest album.
4: If Jens Lekman pops up on your music player, shoot yourself. It's the only way to be sure.


So there you have it. Films and music. It's also environmentally friendly, as I may well be recycling material that the keen eyed amongst you may have seen elsewhere. And immeasurable thanks to Andy for the impeccably mutant artwork at the top there. Take an even bigger bow than before, Andy.

Enjoy, cementheads.