...or some such shit. I'm running out of ways to a) introduce these things and b) indicate it is one from the past. This one seems to have been a Christmas one, from the looks of it. Whizzo!
It's been a while, and in the intervening time my iTunes has become more, ahem, representative as more of my, ahem, "interesting" likes have nestled into the bosom of musical world. They've got themselves comfy, put their feet up and are helping themselves to the donut flavoured skips (they SO existed).
Buckle up, it might be a bumpy ride. Or it might just get obsessed with Tom Jones again, the technotarded software.
1) Unsane - Trench
My mistake, it's obsessed with Unsane again. To be quite honest with you, even I sometimes have trouble telling the songs apart, and I really like them. It's one of the loud thumpy grindy ones with indistinct vocals. Yes, I know, that's all of them.
2) The Constantines - Steal this Sound
I've not listened to this yet, I only have it on Joe's recommendation (I've not known him be wrong before on a recommendation - your reputation is on the LINE, mister). It's not too bad, really, on first listen. Quite intriguing. I shall withold any formal judgement until I hear more. It reminds me of about nine other bands (all from about 1991), but I can't think who.
3) The Milkshakes - The Klansman Cometh
Never understood the title. It's an instrumental and not anywhere near being their best one (and I'm obsessed with all things Medway, so if I say it, it is quite obviously incontestable FACT). Oh well. StupiDunes(tm).
4) Quintron - Track 3 from Satan is Dead
Ah, this is more like it. Bontempi madness ahoy! Splendid splendid splendid. It's not quite an instrumental, as he is singing into a toilet for bits of it.
5) The Hooligans - Juanita Banana
Go on, eat a banana. At least that's what it sounds like. This song is INDESCRIBABLY excellent. And always, always, makes me laugh. I wish I knew if it were meant to. Those crazy Mexicans from the 60s with their singing and their songs and their bananas.
6) Party Ben - Prodigy Vs The Hives; Hate to Smack Your Bitch Up
Does exactly what it says on the tin. Only not very well. Ho hum.
7) The Fall - Container Drivers (live at Acklam Hall)
If I have to comment on this at you, I shall write a stern letter to your parents. Yes, all of them - I have lots of time and lots of stamps. You have been warned.
8) Pink Floyd - A New Machine Part One
Now, I like my Floyd, this is well documented indeed, but this wouldn't have been my first choice. And why are they insisting on assembling this new machine one part at time? Surely they could afford all the bits at once AND someone to assemble it for them? Tightwads.
9) Van Der Graaf Generator - The Emperor in His War-Room
Good GOD but I keep forgetting how ugly Thom Yorke is. Gurning boz-eyed weasel faced muntmonster. He's on telly now, on the turgid trawl through shite that is this weeks Jools WHERE IS MY NECK Holland (who has thankfully been visually absent, the no-necked monstrosity). Good job I have it on mute and FUCKING WONDERFUL music to listen to. If you don't all own this record by the end of this post, I am kidnapping your gerbils. Yes, all of them. I have a lot of time and a lot of free hutch-space. You have been warned.
10) Thee Mighty Caesars - Young Man Afraid of His Horses
Now this IS one of Billy's best instrumentals. Still don't understand the title though.
11) Fun Lovin' Criminals - We are all very worried about you
THEY'RE worried about me? I'M worried about me! I bought this? WHY DAVID, WHY? oh yes, for the last two songs, I remember now.
12) Jethro Tull - For a Thousand Mothers
Hm, it was on iTunes as "For a Thosand Mothers", I shall have to correct that. It has flutes. Well, just one flute. And just the one leg!
13) Tad - Habit & Necessity
Everybody's favourite enormously fat butcher. Apart from Fred Elliot, of course, but Fred Elliot doesn't make wonderfully grinding loud songs. Well, not anymore. And Phantom of the Opera doesn't count, anyway.
14) Zoot Money & The Big Roll Band - The Mound Moves
That must be disturbing. Imagine settling down for a good night in, only for it to start moving BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES. I am of course talking about the venerable pastime of hill watching and not, as you may have thought, any form of oral sex. Good song though, fantastic organ, hur hur.
15) Tumor Circus - Hazing For Success
Fucking brilliant. I put this on the last mix I made. I might put it on every single future one, too. Go on, listen to it, punish your ears. Although not as good as Meathook Up My Rectum (the song, not the manner of being strung up alive in Fred Elliot's storeroom).
16) The Mono Men - Phantom on Lane 12
My recommendation would be to use lane 10 or something. Or better still, don't go fucking bowling at all, you retard. The Most Annoying Person at Work goes fucking bowling. Then she tells me about it. Why the fuck does she think I care? WHY? It's not as if I can even bring myself to look at her when she speaks full stop, let alone when she is talking about going fucking bowling. She eats like a pig too, the ignorant cockweasel. It's an instrumental.
17) The Small Faces - Afterglow (of your love)
One of the bestest songs in the history of bestest songs! I loves it! Very possibly to bits! And so should you! IF YOU KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR YOU.
18) The Walkmen - Hang on Siobhan
No, don't, let go Siobhan! It's for the best. Somewhat average. At least the ugly bands have left the telly.
19) Mudhoney - This Gift
Well it is christmas. Worship at the altar of magnificence that is Mudhoney's ENTIRE career. Except perhaps for bits of Piece of Cake. Okay, perhaps lots of it. But the rest of it- WORSHIP. Or the evil music fairies will make you like James Blunt and then you'll become infested with nematode worms and eke out your remaining years as a shit music liking worm-ridden shell of a person. In other words, a Stereophonics fan.
20) Del Raney's Umbrellas - Can Your Hossie Do The Dog?
No, no he can't. What an odd question to be asked, especially by some umbrellas.
I'd like to say that was fun, but the typing obscured some of the best music and I had to look at Thom Yorke's twisted arsepit of a mutant monkey face for some of it, so it wasn't.
BAH.
More soon. Contain your rampant anticipatory joy.
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