I'm feeling infused with the spirit of uncommon generosity, and thus I bring you another shuffle. Later I hope to be infused with the all too common spirit of vodka, but that is another matter entirely. Yes, a SECOND shuffle. Two, in one weekend. No, no need to check your diaries and calenders, it isn't suddenly Christmas. It's just me, being philanthropic to the last, much like Jesus. I'm not saying I am Jesus, that's something for you to think about for yourselves [/stewart lee]. I couldn't spoil you more if I came round to each and everyone of your houses and force fed you all Ferrero Rocher.
We've added James Blunt to the extermination list. He'll be dealt with as soon as Craig David is out of the way. It's only fair when you think about it, also philanthropic in its own way.
I have to applaud his choice of signs. Maybe there is hope for him yet.
An end to such perfectly useless trumpery, I hear you bellow much in the manner of Joseph Locke. Get sPazTuning, I hear you append to the previous statement. Fuck off, I hear myself reply in a pleasant manner, I'll get round to it when I'm good and ready.
Right, I'm good and ready now. Tedious post of enormous length ahoy!
1. Rammstein - Reise, Reise
The return of DAS RIFF! What a thunderously good way to start a shuffle. It's immensely good fun to make up your own pretend German words to sing along with Rammstein songs. Note: this becomes markedly less good fun if you are or can speak reasonably good German.
2. Geza-X - Isotope Soap
Can't imagine it would get you very clean, to be totally frank. Except I don't want to be totally frank because they are totally shit. And girls. Not like Geza-X, who is a man and very good (if a bit weird). He only made the one album (being principally a producer of other people's stuff for Alternative Tentacles records and the like). Perhaps he actually used some isotope soap and died a horrible radiation based death. I dunno. It'd certainly explain the lack of releases though.
3. Eminem - Cleaning Out My Closet (Jacknife Lee Mix)
Jacknife Lee should be allowed to remix all household chores. He can turn the most dull, leaden, lumpen, artificially over-earnest and self-important chore into a rock-filled bounceathon of the bestest and highest order! The man's a genius!
4. Dead Kennedys - Well Paid Scientist
sPazTunes must be feeling all angried up tonight. It should get angried up more often, makes for better tune choosage. You just punch the clock too scared to PUNCH YOUR BOSS. Bit harsh, Jello. What if he has a really nice boss who resents the whole set up just as much? Tsk.
5. Max Romeo - I Chase the Devil
My mistake, it's gone all top drawer reggae now. Bonus marks if anyone can tell me where this song was notably sampled. Answers on the back of a postcard or sealed envelope please, with a ten pound note stapled to it. Or just type it on the thread or something. Or don't. I DON'T CARE, STOP HASSLING ME.
6. The Prisoners - Whenever I'm Gone
You'd think I'd get tired of repeatedly banging on about how ear-enhancingly wonderful The Prisoners were. WELL I DON'T, BUSTER. Honestly, a life lived without listening to a Prisoners song is a life wasted, devalued, degraded and smeared with poo. So if you whiff a bit, you now know why (note: if you reek of old sprouts with a hint of urine, then chances are this is because you are an old person, regardless of any relative level of Prisoners listenage).
7. The Cramps - Beautiful Gardens
It could be a song about many places. One place it isn't about is the centre of the known universe
8. Mint Royale - Shake Me
The best use of a Clodagh Rodgers sample EVER (well, apart from Armand Van Helden's epic reworking of Everybody Go Home, The Party's Over, of course).
9. HMHB - Everythings AOR
I can put a tennis racket up against my face and pretend that I am Kendo Nagasaki. Word. McIntyre, Treadmore & Davitt is the best HMHB album and anyone who tells you any different is evil and wants to burgle your house.
10. The Solarflares- Valerie
Very possibly the best song by the second best band that Graham Day has sung in. And if that isn't recommendation enough for you to go sprinting from your pit of squalor to secure a purchase of their entire back catalogue, I don't know what is.
11. JCS OST - The Last Supper
sPazTunes is liking the musicals this weekend. And why the hell not? Ian Gillan and Murray Head going at it hammer and tongs. Not in a sexual way. I mean, I like them, just not that much.
12. The Outsiders - I Love Her Still, I Always Will
That's nice to know. Legendary Dutch garage-popsters go all twangily sentimental. Lovely.
13. April March - Chick Habit
You'd have to be dead, or Noel Edmonds, not to like this song.
14. Titty Twisters Orchestra - Murder in the Graveyard
They're Italian I believe. Farfisa-y garage goodness in a swingsome style. Covering a Screaming Lord Sutch classic. Can't go wrong really. This may have been on a previous shuffle, I can't remember. Oh well, it bears repeating.
15. Lightning Bolt - Crown of Storms
Decent song, shit title.
16. The Folksmen, Mitch & Mickey, & The New
Not as good as "Never Did No Wandrin'", but it'll do. It's almost enough to make you wish the bands were real.
17. GZA - Liquid Swords
Scary Rap Dude ahoy. Best intro to any song ever in the history of both songs and introductions. All samurai, shoguns and decapitations. Followed by Mr. GZA's finest set of rapping moments. Superbly lollopingly fluid and generally excellent, bitch.
18. Curtis Mayfield - Freddie's Dead
Poor Freddie. Are you sure this is an appropriate elegy, Curtis?
19. Bryan Ferry - A Hard Rain's a Gonna Fall
Pisses all over the whiny nasal tramp original. THE MOST TRUE FACT EVER.
20. R. Dean Taylor - There's a Ghost in My House
Now this has definitely been shuffled up before (except it hadn’t been – ed.) I distinctly remember pointing out how it effortlessly surpasses any attempted covers and also pointing out the patent lunacy of Mr. Taylor, what with his seeing faces in his coffee cup. She hasn't left, R., she's just lying under your chair staring at you through the bottom of your clearly glassware coffee mug. Still, a fine way to end another thoroughly shuffled shuffle.
Well, that's me done with official shuffling for another month or so. Obviously I still indulge in the occasional freeform shuffle in the privacy of my own home. But I shan't be telling you lot about it, oh no. Anyway, t'ra.
If that didn't hit the spot, then you probably don't have one. Incomplete person alert!
No comments:
Post a Comment