Sup.

It was once my birthday, something that happens with alarming regularity these days, it seems. Anyway, I commemorated it with a shuffle. You knows it. This and a few of the following sPazAmps were originally preceded by amusingly captioned cat pictures. Y'know, back when they were still really funny and that. They're not really anymore, so I've consigned them to the recycle bin of history. I'm a tyrant!

So, sup. Seeing as it's my birthday , I thought I'd sneak in here and work a little bit of sPazTunes magic, and then sneak out again.

So that's what I'm doing. And here it is. Yes.

1. Eminem - Who Knew
Well I certainly didn't. Thanks for clearing that up, Marshall. Not his best effort. In fact, it's a steaming great pile of something you find in piles and steams. Such as shit.

2. Faith No More - Ashes to Ashes
Now that's more like it. It's my birthday, sPazTunes, RELEASE THE RIFF! I may have to listen to this at least twice in a row. In fact, it's practically certain that I will, as I just caught myself typing in time with it.

3. Electric Prunes - General Confessional
It's a song about where Catholic military types go to have their sins expunged. Obviously it isn't really, but in the absence of any lyrics I feel it is only fair that I interpret it just whichever bloody way I damn bloody well sodding choose. It's my birthday goddammit and just because the Electric Prunes (or, by this stage, David Axelrod and a bunch of session musicians) were going through a vaguely religious stage a few decades ago isn't going to stop me. Oh, it does have lyrics. Three minutes into a three and a half minute song. Weirdos. They shed very little light, unfortunately. Something about looking for his friends. They're probably in the confessional having a go on the priest. Did I mention that it's my birthday?

4. The Meteors - Wild Thing (live)
It's a cover of Wild Thing, done by The Meteors, live. So it's Wild Thing, in a psychobilly style, with piss poor sound quality. If you can't imagine that without help, then you probably have a head made of solid cement. In case you do have a head made of solid cement, I'll help you out with a handy pointer. It's shit.

5. Bad Religion - We're a Happy Family
It's from a Ramones tribute album, so I guess that there is at least some point to it. Why on earth they bothered, though, I'll never know. Still, it's an improvement on the original. But, as with about 98% of Ramones songs, a similar improvement could have been made by simply not playing it. Or chopping your ears off.

6. ELO - Ma Ma Ma Belle
As with most ELO songs, it sounds just like the three good ELO songs, only much shitter. I'm not having the best of runs, tonight.

7. Aguaturbia - E.V.O.L
I can't remember where they're from without checking. I have that much mental early seventies psyche-prog from around the world. There are naked people on the cover. It rocks, in a proggy way. I just checked, they were from Chile. As a) I don't speak Chileish and b) I can't make out anything she is wailing about, I have decided that it is a psychic song predicting a Sonic Youth album. Top stuff.

8. Fluid - Girl Bomb
Impractical, at best. Sadly, one of the better bands lost in the mad corporate swamp of shit caused by the majors stampede to turn "grunge" into a swear word. Roadmouth and Glue are both tremendously worthwhile albums, if you ask me. They are whether you do or not, really.

9. Dusty Springfield - No Easy Way Down
Yes there is. Jump, you lesbotic panda.

10. The Fall - Hexen Definitive / Strife Knot
It's a little known fact that Mark E. Smith is an absolutely MASSIVE fan of PC games made using the Quake engine, but with a sword & sorcery type feel. Can't be arsed making anything up for the Strife Knot bit. Perhaps he liked knots.

11. Surgery - Mistake
Like removing the wrong kidney or something, perhaps. It's Surgery, you shouldn't need me to tell you it's fucking wonderful. Unless you're one of the cement heads of earlier mention. In which case, sorry about your head.

12. Southern Culture on the Skids - Werewolf
It nearly made it onto the Hallowe'en mix for the current mix round (Werewolves are sort of Hallowe'eny, right?) but it lost out on account of there already being a better SCoTS song on there. It's a southerny, garagey song about a werewolf and it's very good. What more do you need, nosy?

13. Dicks - Hate the Police
I'm sure I've had this on before, and I'm sure I waffled on about how I don't know whether I prefer this (the original) or the Mudhoney cover. I still don't know.

14. The Milkshakes - Mother I Want Your Daughter
Incestuous perverts.

15. Mudhoney - Sweet Young Thing Ain't Sweet No More
Speak of the devil. Well, Mudhoney, at any rate. I'm sure you're all aware by now of Mudhoney's status as musical titans bestriding the world and filling all our lives with assorted aural miracles, so I won't belabour the point.

16. Deerhoof - Wrong Time Capsule
Meh. Just, well, meh. I hope they informed Blue Peter before they buried it.

17. Beat Happening - Left Behind
There should be more heartfelt paeans to particular buttocks.

18. Big Black - Fists of Love
Now that's just plain disgusting. Some bands just aren't meant to have live albums. Big Black were one of those bands.

19. The Move - Curly (Mono Version)
The Move >>> ELO. In fact, The Move >>> Most Things. And Curly >>> Most Other Move Songs. As you can probably tell, I quite like it.

20. Afghan Whigs - Retarded
That'll do for a finish. From the barely audible "ooh" in the intro to the last note, absolute distortedly soulful angry shouty vulnerable perfection. It's popped up in one of the shuffles before (sPazTunes definitely plays favourites) but I don't care, it's one of the best songs ever invented. And it gets better the louder you play it. It might also be about me, I'm not entirely sure.

Anyway, there you go. That's me done for another year or so (unless I'm visited by a sudden spell of good humour at some point. Can't see it myself, mind). And I'm sure you'll all agree that this has been even more fun than watching the episode of Most Haunted where Derek Acorah gets "possessed" and runs around shouting "MARY LOVES DICK!"

T'ra.