With my heart gladdened by the spread of the term "Scary Rap Dude" and my spleen engorged (possibly too many Bheestios) with the seeping influence of "Girl Trouble", it is time once more to demonstrate the fact that I have very little to do and put my entire curious collection of assorted tat on shuffle.
Ooh, what will it choose first? The tension very nearly exists. Here goes.
1. Hasil Adkins - Everything is Moving Too Fast
Regardless of what Hasil is actually singing about (the discernment of which is never the easiest of jobs), I get the impression that most things in this world move too fast for the liking of Hasil's unhinged mind. For all I know, he's probably bemoaning his haste of weasels or something. Just him and whatever instruments are within his reach. He's the very epitome of a one-man oddball.
I think his guitar quite often moves to fast for him, leading to an unfortunate coincidence of his fingers and really quite random chords and things. The world needs more people listening to Hasil Adkins.
2. Method Man - Release Yo' Delf
What up, G. From the sublimely ridiculous to the Scary Lisp Dude. It's a Scary Rap Dude doing his Scary Motherfucking Rap Thing. There isn't much in the Scary Lisp Dude's back catalogue better than this. Absolutely funktastically funking funksomely funkaliciously wonderful. Motherfucker. Sirens, horns, shouting, lisping and a swearingly adapted sample of I Will Survive. What more do you want, you greedy motherfucker. Bitch. Punkass bitch. Motherfucker. I think I have Meth Tourette's.
3. The Nightmare Before Christmas OST - Finale (Reprise)
Welcome to the wonderful, scary world of my musical life, motherfucker (the tourette's seems to be taking it's own sweet motherfucking crackass time wearing off, ho). What's this, what's this? It's bitchass motherfucking hallowe'en, yo crackass slimey scrawny-assed boney ho bitch. Motherfucker. Or possibly christmas. Bitch. One of my favourite soundtracks to one of my favourite films. Hur-motherfucking-rah!
4. The Sierras - Party at Taco Towne
A twangy, chugging, rumbling, groovesome, surfy taco-based instrumental of the highest order from about 1912. sPazTunes is really outdoing itself tonight.
5. Earth - Other Ghost-Like Symptoms
From as bouncy as it gets to nearly ten minutes of rather too clean sounding for my tastes atmospheric Extremely Uneventful Yet Terribly Loud And Occasionally Droney Guitar Music. It's live, although you really cannot tell. I mean, I like it and all (although there are others with a similarly cut jib that I much prefer) but really, sPazTunes, it's Saturday night! Way to depress everybody after your mental four song super party. Bitch.
6. Dead Kennedys - At My Job
Hurrah! A splendid effort off their best (yes their BEST, not MY FAVOURITE, THE BEST. I had it scientifically proven by a team of utterly impartial scientists. Stick [I]that[/I] in your pipe and smoke it). It's about jobs and work being rubbish. Which they are. One for those who [I]would[/I] like the Dead Kennedys but they have something cruelly wrong with their ears and are deterred by Jello's splendidly unique set of pipes i.e. he doesn't sing the way he normally does [/marenghi]. I'd rather have had Chicken Farm, but I certainly ain't complaining, dude.
7. Mark Lanegan - Methamphetamine Blues
It's off Here Comes That Weird Chill rather than Bubblegum, like that makes a difference. Naturally, you are all supremely aware of the completely and utterly GOD LIKE FUCKING GENIUS OF MARK LANEGAN and meekly accept that he is possession of the most wonderful and affecting gruffty man singing voice in the history of gruffty mandom, so there is little point me pointing out just how BLOODY GREAT this song and, indeed, a vast number of other songs he is attached is and are.
I shall skate around the fact that most of you only know this because of his marvelous turn on Isobel's rather splendid album and subsequently labour under the shocking misapprehension that Honey Chile What Can I Do is the best song on it because it is the one that you most think sounds a bit like a B&S song.
8. Belle & Sebastian - Chalet Lines
Despite the fact that I had a bout of B&S listening to the other day for the first time in [I]ages[/I] (sPazTunes was obviously taking notes. I really rather enjoyed it too, particularly finding that I had liberated them from past associations and the like), I can't shake myself of the impression that sPazTunes hates me and wants to make me do myself in. I told you before, it's SATURDAY BLOODY NIGHT! Bah.
9. Surgery - Shimmer
It's off their one and, I believe only, major label effort of the same name. Well, obviously it is their only major label effort called Shimmer, but you know full well what I meant. Not their best, and lacking a lot of the things that make me truly heart Surgery. Heart surgery, ha, look at me go with the word play n'shit. It's a tiny bit rubbish, really. Why couldn't it have chosen D-Nice if it [I]had[/I]to choose from that album? WHY? Answers on a postcard please.
10. The Woggles - Believe Me Little Girl
An average effort off an average album by one of the garage rock revivals most durable (and usually quite good fun) bands. I've forgotten it already.
11. Thee Headcoatees - Ça Plaine Pour Moi
I'm sure you all know what Ça Plaine Pour Moi sounds like and can at least guess what Thee Headcoatess sound like. Combine the two in your head. C'mon, make a bit of an effort, do I have to bloody spoonfeed it all to you? It's good it is, right good.
Who's stopping you from riding horses, Will? Have you contacted the police about this? What? It's health and safety regulations concerning the reins and your beard? Well, stop moaning then and go and have a bath. In money.
Ah, it's great, you already know this. Although I do wish these musical artists would stop insisting on what everybody "needs". I mean, the list is getting unmanageable. "An angel", "a bosom for a pillow", leave me alone, music dudes!
13. Codeine - Sea
That's it, I'm convinced. sPazTunes hates me and wants to depress me into a squidgy mess on the floor. Don't get me wrong, the song's fine, just don't make me type out IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT GODDAMMIT again. Snorkmaiden had never heard Codeine until just recently. In your FACE, post-rock lady-dude! Verdict? "They sound a bit like Slint". My verdict on that? I try not to hold the Smashing Pumpkins association against them (Slint, that is, not Codeine, I don't think anyone from Codeine would sink [I]quite[/I] that low), but I suppose they do sound, ahem, a [I]touch[/I] similar.
14. The Dukes of the Stratosphear - You're a Good Man, Albert Brown (Curse You, Red Barrel)
[I]Slight[/I] mood change. One of my favourite Dukes songs and one of the few I haven't tired of or begun to resent slightly for sounding a touch too contrived. As I'm sure you all know, it's pretty much XTC pretending not to be XTC and rather to be a 60s Psych-Garage band. Like The Damned did as Naz Nomad & The Nightmares, only not quite so well, really (although they did actually write new songs instead of just covering really spov originals, so I am perhaps being a touch unfair). Sort of sounds like The Beatles doing the jaunty music hall thing except without the air of complete twatdom and with an added knees-up element. In summary, pleasant, with rain drifting in from the east.
15. The Fuzztones - Girl You Captivate Me
Look, Rudi, like I told Mr. Gillan and his "killing machine" girlfriend, DUMP HER! What kind of relationship is it if she keeps locking you under the stairs? It isn't right, it's not healthy and I don't care that you claim it "turns you on", it's just plain weird and wrong.
Fine song.
16.
Thanks for the warning, Prince Nick of Australian Darkness, I'll put some towels down.
Is it just me, or could he conceivably have not bothered with the other disc, as all the really good stuff is on Abattoir Blues?
17. The Reigning Sound - I'd Much Rather Be With the Boys
From their split 7" with The Hentchmen, part of the Norton series of Stones cover 7"s. Forgotten I had this. Most agreeable. Use your imaginations. Pick a style, and mentally picture it sounding like that. Although there is probably a clue for you in the Stones aspect.
18. Bloodloss - Fly Me To Uranus
Who do you think I am, bloody Captain James Tiberius Kirk? Fuck off. Leave the song though, it's a sleazy, menacing, slightly dirty sounding little piece of wonder.
19. Demented Are Go! - Rubber Buccaneer
His voice scares me. This is a live version, but it still scares me whilst entertaining me in more than equal measure. Psychobilly par excellence. Can't help wondering just how much use a rubber buccaneer would actually be, though.
20. Divine Weeks - O Holy Night
IT ISN'T CHRISTMAS YET YOU IDIOTS. A rubbish end. I only really have the "Lump of Coal" compilation for The Weddoes version of Step Into Christmas (and that one by the Hoodoo Gurus, too).
And there you have it. Another titillating, arousing, disturbing and, frankly, boring voyage through my mp3s. I hope you enjoyed it. If not, I just hope you read it. If enough people do, then the cumulative amount of time wasted reading it might eventually balance out the time wasted creating it, and then my plan will have worked. HAHAHA. Ha.
Um.
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